The Circle Of Influence And Worry
Make a list of the things that worry you most and decide if they are in your circle ofinfluence or worry. Think about what you can really do to have an influence on each of them in an effective way. By determining which of these two circles is the centre around which most of your time and energy revolves, you can discover a great deal about your level of positivity. Positive people focus on the things they can do something about. If necessary, they change their attitude. They are aware that perhaps they cannot change the circumstances but they can improve their inner attitude. This is what positive focusing is all about: being creative, thinking differently, being open to listening, being more understanding, more communicative and showing more solidarity.
Reactive people focus on the problems of the circle and on the circumstances about which they have no control. They react to the defects found in other people. From this worrying, accusations, destructive criticism, feelings of blame, a reactive language and feelings of weakness and frustration can arise. They want others or the circumstances to change first and when that happens, then they will change. Whenever they think that the problem is on the outside, this thought is the problem. The negative energy produced as a result of this approach, combined with the lack of attention to the areas in which they could do something to improve the situation, means that the area of influence decreases in size. They give power to what is external so that it dominates them. In other words they think that change must come from “outside towards the inside”; they think that something that is outside must change before they themselves change.